How does it feel like being played out time and again.And how does it feel when someone you love don't trust you.Also, how does it feel being cheated by someone you actually trust a lot.And also, how does it feel like being unimportant to someone you think is important to you.
Tears trickled down my cheek whenever i think of those times when i was having fun, playing with guys trust. But getting all the love that girls will always yearn and wants to get, from guys ranging from the beginning of the timeline to the end of it. Its not that i wants guy. That sound super wrong, and its really not what i meant. Sigh. It really hurts now. Feeling so unimportant to someone who is supposed to be important. Felt so unnecessary.
And when I thought that friends would be the one to replace everything that I thought was trying to make my life full because love really took away quite a big portion of my heart and friends really really need to use their heart and soul, along with my trust to make my heart full again. Yet, whatever I used to feel 2-3 weeks ago, were not what I will be feeling in the future, and i know that it will be forever, not just 2-3 weeks. What man. Why should i always be feeling this. Its so unfair.
And to you, yes you. I really don't wanna care so much, if you have a girlfriend or don't. I just don't understand why did you try to keep it from me. Do you know that i have helped you in trying to get the other her, and now so fast, within 1-2 weeks you can tell me that you already have a girlfriend, when HI SIR, do you remember what did you say a few days before Christmas when we were inside CCK Macdonalds writing our Christmas cards. Have you already forgotten your promises that you say you will fulfill because other guys have yet fulfill their promises to her.
And I was dumb enough to think that you could be serious about her. And we (me, her) would actually thought that the trio will never be separated. Right. Now because of you. Whatever la, I shouldn't be angry at all, because the one that should be shouldn't be me. I am not involve. I am just pissed about being cheated, and lied.
And to the one I think should be important to me. I wonder what is he doing now. Wonder what have he done. Haven really contacted much. And it really hurts feeling so unimportant. I wonder if he still remembers my birthday, remembered how we got to know each other, remembered how we used to love each other so much.
Apart from all those nonsense, I slogged for like 7 hours again today and came home to make muffins. The top were charred. But despite that, it was absolutely nice, i swear. Not trying to boast myself. HEHE. Oh well. (:
Lesson Learnt:
Change of heart, doesn't only imply to love. Friends too. And i believe, my next post will be on friends. Friendship is always the last thing that I would want to change. Trust me, I am hurt.
